A Good Brotherhood

OCCAM'S RAZOR HOLDS THAT the simplest explanation is the correct one, but I believe the simplest answer is not the one we always desire. For example, self-discipline and kindness are right, but how often do we actually want to be self-disciplined and kind? We have been given a false choice between our wants and needs. There is a third fundamental aspect of this point that is never mentioned: willingness. Each of singing, willingness, and neediness leads us to different destinations, and all of them show how brotherhood relies on transparency. It may seem that we want something simple; we might be willing to do only what is simple; our needs might also be simple. Yet, all of this is subjective since what one man considers simple is far too complicated for another. This is what brotherhood is based on. Although I was born an only child, I do not intend to die as an only child. I have two step-brothers and friends I actively choose to have by my side (albeit, only if they're willing).

Ethan, my oldest friend and favorite person in this entire world, is committed to the highest form of minimalism in due stoicism. So much so, in fact, that a decade ago, in our congregate HQ (Lindsey's apartment), I found our friends in agreement that Ethan deserved the title, "Ethan, the Dissatisfied" because of his monotone voice and a face that tread next-to-stone-cold. Separately, there are two very specific officiations where I've watched him break character: the first, most conservatively, he might say yes to an extra shot of Buffalo Trace and is the life of the party. The second is that he's always willing to see his fiancée beyond contentment at any cost. (Humblebragging: I introduced Lexi to Ethan. You may proceed). He's not "soft" by any measure, but his joy comes from the company he keeps (and maybe a rare shot to take the edge off of suffering through fraternizing around said company).

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DOES that say about me? What, if anything, does that say about perception in general? You've always heard the saying, "if you show me who your friends are, I'll show you who you are." But what if there's authentic truth to that, instead of just a surface-level principle? First, if I ever make it to Vegas with Ethan and we get into some serious trouble and have to play Poker in a life-or-death situation with only leftover tater tots that I'd save in my pocket for later (deliciously garnished with crushed lint) and ¢.47 I found on the ground, you can put your whole life on the fact that I'd use my linty tater tots and ¢.47 for Poker chips and trust that Ethan will, 12/10 times, will turn a profit and eventually get us back home. My choice of trust is the point: my company reflects my judgment, and my judgment reflects my brotherhood.

I keep my friends because I'm willing to do what it takes to keep good company. I trust my friends because I need clear honesty in my life, and I can count on them to be transparent. I encourage my friends because I long for them to succeed. Willingness, neediness, and longing: the trifecta of self-reflection from the lens of the company that you keep. When you're introspective, you miss details of the truth because you're partially biased, no matter how honest you feel that you are with yourself. The antidote to this is Good Brotherhood, when formed from the root of simplicity. Seeing yourself from an outside lens gives you introspection that speaks volumes to your character. I'm not half the person that Ethan is, but it's also not a comparative race either. We are two very different people, and our shared interests are few. But when I think that I've maintained this friendship for as long as I can remember, I know I've done something right and maintained a good sense of myself, in good faith and in good character.

JACKSON, THE ELDEST OF my two stepbrothers, is similar in his dedication to faithfulness and simplicity: to God, to his wife, and to all that is simple. He who surrenders complexity for faithfulness is often the one to move mountains. When Jackson moves, he moves with purpose and discipline. The company he keeps reflects that too. We all have wants, needs, and things we're willing to sacrifice to get to our destination. I can list off every friend and family member that I have a Good Brotherhood with, but I'll keep that list short. The idea is that when we reflect on our identity, we're not always honest with ourselves until we see ourselves through outside views. A Good Brotherhood is formed and shaped by those who move mountains around me and shake me to my core. This is how I define a Good Brotherhood from a Great one. The best people I know are movers and shakers, and they don't come by it but only through the inheritance of Christ.

It's slightly antithetical to equate this theory to the concept of public perception; the entire article above explains the relationship of introspection in self-vs-self, but not world-vs-self. But the seed takes root in any regard when applying the concept that our willingness, needs, and wants are connected to perception. When we're deficient in one of the triads, there's a maladjustment that needs to be corrected to get aligned with transparency. When the optics match the soul, then the only thing left to do is move mountains.